Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen. Your MIL Versus a Postpartum Doula
The REAL cost of not hiring a postpartum doula!
Yes, hiring a postpartum doula is an expense and, frankly, one that is well worth it!
The biggest reason people do not receive the support they need is because they worry about the expense and believe a family member can help just as much; and that family member is free.
Many times we hear: "my mother-in-law (MIL) is coming to help and so we do not need a postpartum doula." Well, let's unpack that to see exactly what that looks like:
5 Reasons Why a Postpartum Doula is BETTER then your MIL:
1. Your postpartum doula is an expert in all things baby. They can help you understand your baby’s cues, predictability, sleeping routines, feeding needs and everything you need to know to successfully (and with as little stress as possible) take care of your newborn. The better you understand your baby and can fulfill their needs, the better your baby will be! Meaning, LESS CRYING! Your postpartum doula gives you the support to be the best mom possible!
Versus your MIL who took care of a baby 30+ years ago and wants to show you how to do everything her way because she knows best.
2. Your postpartum doula attunes to your family's needs and understands how you want to parent. She will (without judgement) support you in your specific parenting philosophy and give you confidence that YOU know what is best for YOUR child. They attune to your lifestyle and give you unconditional support so that you feel confident in your decisions about YOUR family. Again, your postpartum doula helps you be the best mom possible!
Versus your MIL who feels you are simply overreacting and believes that "things shouldn't be done that way." She didn't do it like that and all her kids survived!
3. Your postpartum doula understands the need for you to rest and recover from the challenge of birth and 9+ months of pregnancy. She understands that the more you rest, sleep, eat and relax, the quicker you will recover and start to feel better physically and emotionally. She is as an extra pair of hands, a ear to listen and a person to rely no matter what is needed. Yes again, your postpartum doula will help you be the best mom possible during this transition.
Versus your MIL who is disgusted at the site of your messy bathroom! Why isn’t is clean for all the visitors that will be coming over to meet the new baby? She doesn't understand why cleaning the house is not a priority to you because she was able to do it ALL while raising 4 kids, and without any help!
4. Your postpartum doula has the utmost care for you and your family and wants to see you succeed! Transitioning from baby in belly to baby in arms is very emotional. Your postpartum doula is there to confide in, rely on and console you if needed. She can help you navigate your ‘stronger then you realized’ emotions and feelings without judgement or unsolicited advice. She will listen to and hear you, validating your needs and understanding exactly where you are in your process of becoming a mother. The sooner you start to feel better, the better mother you will be!
Versus your MIL who doesn't understand why you are crying again, or why you feel you need alone time in your bedroom. Unfortunately, she also does not have the best boundaries verbally or physically as she barges into your bedroom unannounced to see if she should take the baby because you are crying again.
5. Your postpartum doula is there for the whole family and supports your partner and their needs too. She will give him/her the confidence needed to support you in recovery. So that they know how to best take care of you too. Your postpartum doula will help your partner build their own bonds with their new child as well. Your postpartum doula brings reassurance to the entire household so that this is a seamless transition for everyone. Her goal is that postpartum is full of love instead of overwhelm. Again, your postpartum doula helps everyone be the best parent possible!
Versus your MIL that may feel you simply are not doing enough for her son! Why isn't his lunch made and work shirt ironed? She was able to do all of this while raising all 4 of her children! What is the big deal? You have much more support than she ever did!
Do yourself a favor and HIRE THAT POSTPARTUM DOULA!! Save your sanity and start your parenting relationship off best! The more support you have the better! Labor of Love Birth Services understands this and has some amazing postpartum doulas that offer day and night shifts supporting families all over Orange County. Gift yourself some Mary Poppins' magic and call today!