Birth: Its Life Lessons from a Doula
As a birth doula, the things that birth has taught me are immeasurable.
I have been a doula going on 9 years now. Which is the longest I have ever done anything career wise. I have sat by the beds sides of over 250 families and taught 1000s of couples how to meet this moment through childbirth education. I have mentored other birth professionals, and cultivated relationships with midwives, OBGyNs, and L&D nurses.
Birth is the space in which I work. It encompasses my daily life, I talk about it, write about it, teach it, study it, think about it, engage in it, participate in it and have actively given birth twice. Birth has changed me in so many ways - it has been a great teacher that is constantly offering me lessons.
I share these lessons with you because they go beyond just this single moment.
Birth has taught me how to be a better friend, sister, wife, mother, listener and observer; a better whatever it is that I am in any given moment. The lessons birth has taught me have expanded my presence and what I give in numerous ways.
Here are a few things birth has taught me, things that have made me a better, deeper, and more patient and grateful person.
#1: Birth has taught me, that sometimes you can't fix things:
This one can be so hard for so many of us as we want to think that there are always ways to fix an issue. We are a society that has a gadget, a pill, an exercise, a cure, etc. for everything. AND, with all the tools, choices, options at the ready; sometimes you still can’t fix it. Sometimes all we can do is walk hand in hand straight ahead. All we can do is sit in the moment and allow it to simply be and unfold.
If we are lucky, often that moment of allowance changes us.
It can change our mindset, preceptive, resolve.
Giving ourselves that space - to not DO anything and just sit with the discomfort can show us who we really are. It will push us past our comfort zone, and offer an opportunity to expand and grow. We might just start to understand how resilient and capable we can be. Sometimes the best thing to do is smile and allow the path to reveal itself. Birth doesn't need fixing and we have to remember and trust that it will unfold just as it should.
Such is the story of our lives ...
#2: Birth has taught me that offering someone your full attention and acceptance is so powerful.
When we get quiet and allow people to experience their moment without judgment, it can impact them more than trying to guide, advise or change things. When we see them, hold them and let them know they are safe; magic can happen. A deeper understanding can take place as the person you are supporting can connect to their inner wisdom. They can listen to their own needs and find their own voice.
Truly supporting someone is NOT about imposing your ideas on them, it's NOT about guiding their decisions or controlling the situation for them. Genuine support is about bearing witness to their rising strength, it is about giving them the space to connect to their own inner strength.
Allowing them to go inside and find it deep down within themselves because as much as we wish we should offer our own strength to them; we simple can’t. We all must find their own power and by offering your time and attention you can inspire someone to see themselves in a new light. Encourage them to be their own hero.
#3: Birth Has taught me that a good cry is oh so powerful.
Crying, we completely do not understand how important crying can be. It's one of our superpowers. It's one of the biggest emotionally releases we can offer ourselves, to embrace the cry. When we feel safe to cry we can release os much stuck emotion; pain, sadness, grief, disappointment, joy, elation, overwhelm, fear, ecstasy.
Crying is glorious and gorgeous. When we feel safe, seen and able to allow ourselves to let it out, magic can happen. You not only release past wounds, expectations, feelings, energy, but you also expand and be open to so much more. Crying lets things out so that you can be available for what is next come.
Crying is your superpower!! Often the only release we need to arrive at the next evolution of ourselves.
These lessons that birth has taught me have changed my life. I am a better parent when I don't try to fix it, when I give my children my full attention. When I don't try to stop the cry but embrace the release and create a safe place for all it. These are amazing gifts that can change not only our lives but the lives we touch and impact.
Much Health and Healing, my friends.